If every single one of us all stopped to think for one moment, so that we could realize that there is more than just our own hopes and dreams. That there are countless others that have an inner monologue. That have their own, what I like to call, you.
Now when I speak of you I don't mean you as a person, or as a human. I mean your thoughts, your mind. The one you speak to when you make plans for yourself. When you're just thinking. You.
People don't think about that. They just see a piece of flesh and don't attribute any thought to it. I used to be like that. I remember exactly where it changed for me:
I was driving home from work one day and there was a guy riding directly on my bumper most of the way. Now we're sitting in traffic, on a busy interstate. There are literally hundreds of cars in front of me that aren't moving and the guy in the car behind me is swerving to look around me and flashing his lights to try to get me to move faster or get over. Remember, this is traffic on a busy loop going around Charlotte, NC at 5:00 on a weekday.
I'm getting upset thinking that there is nowhere for me to go. I'd like to get home too. It's summertime so I have my windows down, as does he. When he finally gets off at his exit, he hangs out the window and yells "ASSHOLE!" at me and gives me the finger. This actually happened. There was nowhere I could have gone, even if I REALLY wanted to let him by.
Now his exit was early on in my drive. My exit was still about 30-45 minutes away. Sometimes I like to ride with the radio off. That's how it was this day. I just kept wondering to myself: Why would he act like that? He knew as well as I did that there was nowhere for either of us to go. Then I thought, and this is very important in order to understand other people: What if it was me? What if I was the guy in the truck behind me? What would make me act like that?
That changed everything. I thought from his perspective and it immediately changed my brain chemistry forever.
What if he just got fired? What if something happened to his wife? Or to one of his kids? What if he was having the actual worst day of his life? You don't know. I sure didn't.
I felt terrible. I was getting upset, but maybe all he needed was some compassion. There are so many things that can go wrong on a daily basis for us. So many things that can get messed up, or not turn out the way that we wanted.
We don't have to pity people, we just have to understand each other. Imagine if you were able to treat everyone as if they were your best friend. Your favorite person in the entire world. Even if it's you, maybe you're your own favorite. Imagine that's who you're judging at the moment.
How would that change what you're thinking? You'd almost certainly show more compassion. You could show empathy towards them.
No need to let yourself get run over. You just need to understand and try to find out why they are the way they are. No one WANTS to be angry. No one wants to be in a really terrible part of their life. Not everyone can be helped. Some people won't listen. But, like I always say, if you don't try, then you'll never do anything.
So remember, this isn't just YOUR life. It belongs to all of us. Wake up and join us, stop shutting us out and let the fact dawn on you that you're not alone. We're all here with you, and we've been here all along.
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